Interpersonal relationships are one of life’s greatest blessings, and at the same time, one of life’s greatest challenges. Not one of us is immune to the powerful highs and lows that are companions to those relationships. Certainly, the behaviors that bother us the most are typically, behaviors that we would see in a mirror if we looked closely enough. Regardless of what difficult situation we find ourselves in, it is obvious that we would not be in those positions unless God had allowed it. Yet His calling to us is that in any difficulty, we are to treat others with love. That love is not just any love; it is the same love that enabled the Father to sacrifice His only Son so that we might have eternal life.
There is only one set of rules. God treats His greatest enemy with the same love that He treats His Son. That is one of the many attributes of God. He is love, and consequently, is incapable of being anything but completely loving. That might be difficult for our finite brains to comprehend, as even in His wrath, God only can love perfectly. To see an example of this, the Book of Revelation shares many prophetic statements of God pouring out His wrath on a sinful earth, though we also can see the purpose behind God’s wrath. First, it is a response to man completely ignoring the Creator and His laws, yet at the same time, in His judgments, God will attempt to get man’s attention and have as many as possible turn to Him. In His love, He wants us to know Him.
7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9 In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
1 John 4:7-11
Just as God loved His Son Jesus, each of us has someone in our lives that we treat better than others. It might be a child, a parent, a best friend or even a co-worker. Typically, that better treatment comes from a long, track record of that person desiring to please and protect us. At the same time, we might treat others with less regard, as we believe we can see their hearts and understand their motives. Yet is that truly the case?
But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7
The key to our interpersonal skills dwells in our love. We are called by God to love them as He loved us. That is not because they have done anything to deserve that love, as we did not deserve His love. Yet God demonstrates to us that love changes everything. Have one set of rules in how to treat others! Treat them as you would treat the most special person in your life. It is not hypocritical to love your son, parent or friend, but it is hypocritical not to love your enemies or detractors with that same love. It is God’s calling on each of our lives. The one rule book is the Bible! God loves us in the same way that He loves Jesus, and treats us the same.
There is a wonderful analogy of the shepherd, who when his sheep begin to stray, gently pulls them back with the crook of his staff. If they continue to stray, he turns the staff around and pops them on the hindquarters. If that doesn’t get their attention, he breaks their back legs and carries them until the legs heal. While carrying them, he draws much closer to them, to the point where they don’t want to stray. Sadly, we have lots of shepherds that will break the legs at the first mistake of the sheep, and along with that, are not willing to carry the sheep. Instead, the sheep are cast aside where wolves may prey on them. We are called to come alongside our brothers, to build them up. When this is done, the body of Christ functions as intended, with each person able to use and grow in the gifts that God has given. The answer is to love others just as we love our favorite person.
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.
Matthew 5:43-46
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