Yesterday, I received a phone call from my uncle informing me that my cousin had passed away on Friday of a massive heart attack at the age of 48. With thoughts swimming through my brain and sadness oozing into every pore, it all seems almost too disjointed to put on paper. Greg was the son of my mother’s brother. We didn’t spend much time together as children, yet as adults, we only saw each other once. That was in 2004 at my mother’s funeral. The bittersweet memories of that time are etched in my brain. After suffering from emphysema for over 10 years, my mother had gone home to be with her Lord. I grieved for the fact that we no longer could create new memories, and hoped that I could hold on to many of the old ones. Yet there was also the knowledge that she had finished the race, fought the good fight and was at that moment looking into the eyes of our Savior! Along with that thought, at the funeral, God comforted me by surrounding me with faces and love from the past.
My mother’s siblings had endured a very difficult time in childhood. Consequently, upon reaching adulthood, they “escaped,” seemingly going their own ways, geographically separated, if not emotionally. I remember my mother telling me of a conversation with her brother discussing some of those childhood memories. Somehow, my mother did not remember any of the events that heavily clouded her brother’s thoughts. She never questioned the authenticity of his memories, and realized that the pain must have been so great that she simply let those memories lapse. Love remained between them, though the distance remained. Yet somehow, the inability to confront the pain passed down to the next generation, as we grew up without strong bonds to close relatives.
That was the gift God gave me at my mother’s funeral. I was surprised at the number of ways that Greg and I were similar, both with a strong emphasis on sports and the outdoors. We both loved Labrador retrievers. Sitting in a hotel room the night before the funeral, we passed around a guitar, taking turns playing random songs. Greg’s younger brother, Jonathan, also participated, and the next day, we were three of the pallbearers at my mother’s funeral. God had surrounded me with love, from people I hadn’t seen for years.
Yet sadly, our similarities did not include our religious beliefs. Greg adhered to the philosophy, “Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die,” and then reached his tomorrow. While his heart attack had surprised me, Greg had abused his body in every way imaginable. In addition to that abuse in the physical realm, the spiritual realm seemed to be just as much of a wasteland. Agnosticism bordering on atheism seemed to be the common belief in Greg’s family. Sometimes, I wonder if that has more to do with pain than understanding. When difficulties arise, we have the tendency to either run away from God or run into His comforting arms. Because we cannot see inside of the heart, I have no idea what Greg’s personal relationship with the Lord was. Certainly, there are those who become believers moments before death, and I can hope that Greg was one of those. Yet the only way I had shared my faith with Greg was through the snippets of information we had exchanged on Facebook. What if God had wanted me to speak with Greg, but I had not listened?
19 “There was a certain rich man who was clothed in purple and fine linen and fared sumptuously every day. 20 But there was a certain beggar named Lazarus, full of sores, who was laid at his gate, 21 desiring to be fed with the crumbs which fell from the rich man’s table. Moreover the dogs came and licked his sores. 22 So it was that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels to Abraham’s bosom. The rich man also died and was buried. 23 And being in torments in Hades, he lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.
24 “Then he cried and said, ‘Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus that he may dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.’ 25 But Abraham said, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things; but now he is comforted and you are tormented. 26 And besides all this, between us and you there is a great gulf fixed, so that those who want to pass from here to you cannot, nor can those from there pass to us.’
27 “Then he said, ‘I beg you therefore, father, that you would send him to my father’s house, 28 for I have five brothers, that he may testify to them, lest they also come to this place of torment.’ 29 Abraham said to him, ‘They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them.’ 30 And he said, ‘No, father Abraham; but if one goes to them from the dead, they will repent.’ 31 But he said to him, ‘If they do not hear Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded though one rise from the dead.’ ”
Luke 16:19-31
God gives us all the opportunities to know Him personally. It is a blessing that He involves us in the process of sharing His kingdom with others, yet God does not need us. He can use us to share His words, He can speak through a burning bush, He can communicate by giving a donkey the power of language or He can write it in the sky if He so chooses! Our inabilities to listen cannot change God’s will. When we get to heaven, we certainly will discover the multitude of ways that God tried to get our attention.
Yet the lesson of the day, for me if not for all of us, is to make every moment count. In our conversations, if the Holy Spirit opens the door ever so slightly, are we willing to step through that door and share about the miracles that God has performed in our lives? We are so adamant at not offending another person, yet what is the greatest offense? How many people on Judgment Day will be looking at you, saying, "Why didn't you tell me?" If your friend was drowning, would you not at the very least throw him a rope? In addition to living in the moment, we should dwell in the thankfulness of what we have been given. Did we deserve salvation more than others who have not received it? No! Through our lives, actions and motives, all we deserved was death, yet the Lord in His infinite mercy and grace gave us eternal life in Him. Never forget that each person in your path is one breath away from death, and one decision away from eternal life!
My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my
heart and my portion forever.
Psalm 73:26
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